Quixtar/Amway and the Ambot Army.19:39 Aug 24 2010
Times Read: 1,250
I was talking to someone recently about Amway, and the 'Ambots' who sell Amway shit...the conversation reminded me of a 3-day seminar I attended a few years ago. I wrote a review about my experience, and am posting it here:
$100 for a 3-day seminar on money-making opportunities sounds like a good idea; not learning anything, but being totally freaked out doesn't.
A very nice professional woman - let's call her May - told me of a profitable business opportunity in which I could make from a few hundred to as much as a thousand dollars a month in extra income. From the vague initial info I received from her, I thought that she was trying to get me into a pyramid scheme, a-la-Amway. She assured me that she wasn't. All I had to do was attend the 3-day event to see and learn for myself. I agreed to go.
The weekend event - the BWW Spring Leadership Conference - was held at the Santa Clara Convention Center, from April 28-30, 2006.
Friday: There was a very long line of well-dressed young professionals - mainly of Indian and Pakistani descent. I was approached and asked on several occasions if it was my first time attending a conference - I said yes. I was told repeatedly that I was going to love it and learn a lot on 'building my own business'...I was getting psyched!
Once I got in - after standing in a line for almost 2 hours - I was met by May and seated with a few of her associates. They kept telling me how much fun I'd have in addition to learning. "Are you excited?' they asked - "I'll see" was my response.
The evening started with everyone singing 'God Bless America' then joining hands to say a prayer...WTF? Since when did patriotism and religion begin a business function? Uh-oh...
There were a few introductory speakers, then a guy who introduced new product lines (mainly vitamin supplements). After him, everything just went down The Rabbit Hole...the lights were dimmed everywhere except for the stage. People were shouting 'Freedom!' while giving what looked like Nazi salutes, and a familiar techno tune was blaring. Between each guest speaker, the crowd was whipped into a bigger frenzy, with hundreds stampeding to the stage to cheer the speakers on and get high-fives. I kept asking "Why is everybody running?'" "Because they're excited!" was the usual reply.
I didn't learn anything; the speakers mainly gave their life histories and bragged about their material wealth, while 'building the business' selling products from the Quixtar (Amway) line.
After that, I told May that I was confused with the program; she replied that the first day was always like that. I asked "When do I get to the training?" She said the training would be on Saturday and Sunday...I got home @ midnight.
Saturday: Even freakier than Friday. More people - more heat. More guzzling of the energy drink they supplied, which I liken to liquid crack-in-a-can. More people - many of them women in heels - joining in the salmon run to the stage. People shouting 'Freedom' at the top of their lungs, Nazi-saluting, and waving huge American flags. There was no training to be had, but I got to listen to a cheesy band perform 'positive pop music'...and they kept playing that same techno tune...which I later realized was the theme from "Mortal Kombat'...Got home @ 1 am.
Sunday: I skipped out on the several religious services that were available, but was there for the 'real meat and potatoes'...in which I left pretty hungry. What little info was given was done by people with such heavy accents that I barely understood any of it. By then, I was pissed off. People still kept asking me if I was excited, and I started to say "No!" and "You people scare me." Once I got home - @ 6pm - I sat down to reflect on my wasted 3 days. I felt like such a fool...recalling the constant energy drink-infused adrenaline rushes, the few hours of sleep, the men and women in almost identical clothes, listening to women say that the man should always be in charge, with the constant psuedo-religious content...made me realize that I had just escaped a MOFO cult!
A few days later, I spoke with May to let her know that I wasn't paying her for the $100 ticket she got me, since the promised training never materialized. I told her I'd send her a letter to that affect ( cc'd to my attorney). I never heard from May again...Freedom!
COMMENTS
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Theban
00:02 Aug 30 2010
Goody!!
JustinV
19:23 Aug 30 2010
I've got it bookmarked so I'll be working my way through it soon enough. I've got a couple years of reading ahead of me though so feel free to keep the updates at a minimum for now!